Couples and Money
Do you and your partner fight about money? Do you end up feeling frustrated and angry when money issues come up? Do you end up feeling hurt and not taken care of because of your partner’s attitude?
If you and your spouse have different attitudes about money you probably do. These attitudes are based on our core beliefs about money and these beliefs are shaped by very early experiences. What you saw and heard from the significant adults in your life effect how you think about and handle money now. Often these beliefs and messages aren’t even in our awareness as we deal with daily money matters. When they are too different from our spouse’s a lot of tension, frustration, fighting and hurt can result.
It can be really frustrating. You may have a really good relationship and may be in sync about so many other imortant issues but your relationship seems unrecognizable when the two of you deal with money. Over time the hurt and resentment can build up and it begins to effect other areas of your marriage and your overall attitude toward each other.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- I should be able to buy that even though it’s expensive,
I work hard and I deserve it. - I’ve had a lousy day/week, I need to go shopping.
- I get anxious and down when it’s time to pay bills.
- I just bought __________ but I have to hide it or my partner will get angry.
- I can’t believe how much he/she spends no matter how many times I say we have to be more careful.
- I don’t balance my checkbook, I just toss the statement in the drawer.
- I manage a the finances. My partner won’t touch it but then complains about our finances.
- There is never enough.
- We make a good living but we just don’t have any left over to save.
It can sometimes be difficult to stay calm and objective when fighting with out partners about money. It can be hard to resolve differences or even talking about it without causing more hurt.
If you recognize yourself and/or your partner in these descriptions, you are not alone. Money is often sighted as one of the most common and intense conflicts in marriages. It is also one of the most common reasons for couples splitting up.
There is a way to stop fighting over money.
Many couples can and do work out their differences about money. They fight less and even work together on financial goals which benefit them both, as a couple and individually. It is possible to relax about money, manage it with less anxiety and enjoy it more. I guide people through a 4-step process to help them achieve just these goals. Many couples have told me how after working together on the money issues their overall relationship improves. Some have even said that getting rid of the resentment and hurt caused by financial disputes has lead to more feelings of love and more passion in their lives.
If you would like to see how this could be possible for you and your spouse I invite you to contact me. I’ll be happy to discuss your concerns.